Five Ways to Address the Controlling Church Secretary
By: Michael Bergeron; PivotHR Solutions
“I’ve seen them come and I’ve seen them go”, Sally thought to herself as the latest senior pastor, Bob, slowly packed the books in his office.
Bob was the third pastor in five years. Having been with First Baptist for twenty-five years, it was Sally, the secretary, who knew the inner-workings of the church. Not much happened in the church without her speaking her mind towards it. And, with each new pastor, she was sure to let them know “who we are” and how they can “best fit in”.
To her credit, Sally knew quite a bit and each pastor needed her input for church precedence, process, relationships, and general know-how. But the problems would begin when the pastor made a decision Sally didn’t like. Having all the necessary behind-the-scenes information and influence, she quickly let the other parishioners know when a pastor was “getting out of line.”
Sound familiar? Do you have a Sally in your church? Gender is irrelevant. Sallys can happen at any church—big, small, domestic, or international. I remember pastors in Hong Kong miserably asking how to deal with a Sally.
How do you address a Sally without finding yourself at odds with the rest of the congregation? How do you treat her with grace without compromising the church’s progress?
1) Ensure you have the right perspective
Incorrectly assuming Sally is acting purposefully or has evil intent can damage your relationship with Sally, damage your relationship with others, and it can hurt your credibility as a grace-filled leader.
Make sure you know for a fact Sally’s actions cause damage before you act. Grace assumes the best; it doesn’t make decisions based on suspicion, perceived threat, or ill will.
2) Have a friendly conversation
Sally may or may not know she is sabotaging initiatives, ideas, and progress. Ask her what she believes her job responsibilities are and clarify your expectations of her role.
If Sally does not understand how she is negatively impacting the ministry, gently give her two examples that clearly show how her actions have impeded a project or initiative. If Sally is apt to receive instruction, grant her the flexibility and space to step into the needed changes over the next several weeks.
3) Ask the elder or deacon board for their guidance and support
Typically, a Sally who likes control and influence continues unfazed after a friendly conversation (or several!).
Once Sally has rebuffed gentle guidance, talk to the leadership board and ask their guidance. Forge a path together that will help address the situation.
4) Implement a corrective-action plan
Regrettably, a Sally will often need a corrective action plan (with leadership support) to change. Implement a “performance improvement process” where Sally is clear on the issues and knows what new behaviors and attitudes are now expected.
Set a time-frame for follow-up. This also serves as documentation if you are forced to consider ending her employment later on.
5) Stick with it
A Sally has relationships, procedural know-how, and will typically not think twice of gossiping and pointing out your faults to others. Stick with the corrective action. The church will be healthier long-term if you do and you won’t feel regret while looking for another pastorate if you don’t.
